Food

This blog is not about bashing Americans for being an uncultured and somewhat ignorant bunch of arrogant people, but when evidence of such a behavior is waving it's presence right in my face, I just have to hit the keyboard and type away.

This Saturday night I went to what you might classify as a "Gourmet Restaurant" You know, the kind of place that will serve you a tasting menu of 6-7 different dishes and offer wine that goes very well with the food. You go to a place like this with high expectations and looking forward to all the hidden surprises a master chef can put into a meal, like unorthodox or even controversial use of spices and ingredients. In a nutshell each dish and the wine that goes with it, is well thought through and is served exactly the way the chef intended it to be. Without sounding pretentious it's food bordering on art.

So, I'm sitting there stuffing my face with truffles served with tomatoes and vanilla sauce when an obviously American couple enters the restaurant. Obvious, because the 70-something woman is wearing an almost fluorescent pink dress (and trainers) and looks like she draws heavily on Barbara Bush and Dame Edna for fashion advice. The much younger man (her son?) is perhaps in his 40s and one glance at his oversized camera, short sleeved shirt and what looks like pants he got from a UPS guy (and trainers) makes it evident that here's a 100% genuine American couple.
It's also immediately evident to the trained eye that this couple is in a wrong place - they don't belong in a place like this. Oh, they're probably loaded with dosh and could buy the restaurant fifty times if they wanted to, but when it comes to food appreciation I'm guessing they're not exactly trained in that particular area. My suspicion is soon confirmed...

After taking in the scene for a whole 45 seconds the guy raises his hand and shouts "Waiter"...hmmm...OK, he might be hungry. The waiter brings a cart and offers a selection of 7 or 8 different kinds of Champagne. He starts to explain the subtle difference between the various bottles, but receives little interest from the couple. They end up ordering something with "Chateau" in the name because they "like the French stuff" (the couple obviously unaware of the fact that ALL Champagne is French...).
The 6 piece tasting menu seems to contain a lot of things they haven't heard about, so instead of trying something new (and maybe get a pleasant surprise) they order the closest thing to steak on the menu - Chateaubriand. After what seems like 15 min - during which the man is clearly getting more and more impatient - the finely prepared and well presented meal is arriving at their table. The meat looks very good and perfectly cooked and is served together with a fungi pie and mashed potatoes. Not good enough for Mr. American. He insists (rather loudly) that the take the meat back on cock it some more. The waiter kindly explains that this Chateaubriand is supposed to be served not too well done, but the couple insists and the waiter politely takes the meat away and goes to ruin it in the kitchen. After returning with the now obliterated meat the couple change their minds and decides that they, after all, will enjoy some red wine with the meal. Cue the sommelier.
The wine expert explains to them that with this particular meal he highly recommends some Italian red that goes very well with the fungi, or perhaps an Australian Shiraz to complement the meat. Of course the couple ignores his advice and goes for a French Beaujolais (they like "the French stuff...") that is very well known to go down well with chicken and white meat but is totally missing the mark when it comes to red (well, former red in this case) meat.
And finally, 5 minutes into their over cooked Chateaubriand, they finally prove they're true red, white and blue bleeding Americans: "Waiter, can we have some Ketchup?"

JB