About six weeks ago I started seeing this girl Sandra and tonight I'm going to end it ,and as usual I feel like a heel for starting a relationship when I know that I'm not very good at being in one.
I've dumped someone before, but as my "she dumps me/I dump her" ratio is pretty high (meaning I get dumped a lot, I guess) I know exactly how devastating it can be, even if said relationship has been short term. So I'm feeling bad for doing this, but it's something I just have to do, as doing it later will only make matters worse.
So how should I do it? I need options...According to Simon & Garfunkel there's 50 ways to leave a lover, so it's really pathetic that I can only think of seven:
1- Send a text message: "Hi, I don't wanna see you again. Sorry xox" That would work if I was in the 4th grade and has a high insensitivity score. Not gonna use that one.
2 - Call her: "So, Sandra I was thinking maybe we shouldn't see each other any more" If I was a complete twat I could do this, but since I've cancelled my subscription to "Men of low moral fiber Magazine Weekly" ages ago, it's not going to work either.
3- Send her a letter: "Dear Sandra..." This is 2006 - No way, I'm gonna send a letter! Just figuring out where to buy stamps and envelopes, and then finding a mailbox would take me another 6 weeks. In addition to which my handwriting is so horrible, she'd probably think it was her 5 years old nephew having a go.
4 - Send her an e-mail: "Hi S, I think you're a great person and all, but..." Just how I like my women, tempting and dangerous. E-mails are very easy to respond to and I don't need our breaking up to turn into a debating society, plus e-mails can be easily forwarded to 3rd parties who will take her side and start spamming my mailbox. Also scores high in the twat department.
5- Ignore her, until she stops calling/mailing/writing. That only works if you wanna get rid of annoying mistakes like one night stands. Applying this technique when you've been seeing somebody for 6 weeks is only going to lead to unnecessary worry. Also, this scores pretty high on the twat-o-meter.
6 - Not show up for a date. This sends a clear message and if I was a real coward (and a twat) this would be an option. However, empathy is going to disqualify this option.
7 - Tell her face to face. If I can avoid the "it's-not-you-it's-me-trap" this is will be the best and most decent way to end the relationship. There might be tears and there might shouting, and there's no way to avoid the "have-we-given-it-a-fair-chance-discussion". Shying away from conflict is not really an option in this case and I've done my share of easy solutions.
Conclusion seems obvious in this case. I'm going to look her in the eye and tell her it's over. Come hell or high water - this is the right solution.
Wish me luck...
JB
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