Teenage Envy

Yesterday a friend and I wasted a couple of lazy hours at the marina, sitting in the sun drinking chilled Chardonnay watching and commenting people as they strolled by.

On the bench on the other side of the promenade a teenage couple sits down. They sit very close together and even somebody with very limited body language reading capabilities can see that those two are really in to each other. Kissing and giggling with hands everywhere they're looking each other deep into the eyes barely balancing on the edge of decency.
The guy has an indolent look that is the hallmark of almost every teenager these days and with his 24 karat garden-hose, baggy pants and spiked hair he looks exactly like any other 16 year old.
The girl is less generic yet sports the obligatory high cut bikini, the ubiquitous flip flops and a tattoo on her lower back. She looks young, and I suspect that having crazy wild sex with her could seriously bring down the heat on that innocent looking 17 year old lad (15 being the legal age for sexual activities in this country)

Anyway. All that is beside the point. The point is that while wathcing those two laughing and having fun in the sun I was thinking that it would be nice if I was a teenager again. Sitting on a bench without a care in the world smooching with a nice girl and not worrying about anything else than her, being so deeply in love that everything else just loses importance. Not having to care about tomorrow or next year or how to structure my pension plan. Just allowing myself to fall in love with love without all the reservations that experience has taught me. Yeah, that would be nice...

But, it's not going to happen is it?. Because I'm an adult now, and adults are expected to be responsible and considered people and such people do not rush in without thinking things through first and contemplating every possible angle. Adults don't take many chances and putting some extra sugar in your latte is about as wild, daring and adventurous as most adults get. Not even in love can we escape the bondage of responsibility.

To make a sad point even sadder. I know that the 17 year old spotted teenager will probably sit on the marina 10 years from know and think "Hey. What happened? I used to laugh and fool around and now I'm sitting here with my drink and wonder where all my carefree happiness has gone".

And that's the sad fact of life. The tiny seed of love grows into a tangled web of considerations and challenges as the years pass you by. Even sadder though is the fact that I believe we ourselves are making it be that way because we're so used to worrying about everything, that worrying about love comes naturally to us.

Good news is that, since I then is the source of my worry, I can change the rules of the game and allow myself to experience the magic of falling in love again without the aid of a time machine.

JB