Resurrection

Yes. I'm back, but unlike a certain historic figure not from the dead.

Past 4 weeks has been a crazy roller-coaster ride including ups and downs, peaks and valleys and unpredictable changes but now I've finally reached a plateau and can rest my bones for a while.
It's funny, but when I'm totally stressed out from work I tend to relieve some of the pressure by pursuing some of my more creative talents. People who know me are often surprised when they discover the rather artistic side of my nature and often have a hard time grasping that behind my cool (perhaps even cold) and polished business-like surface lurks an artistic, creative and sometimes even perhaps poetic person.

My creative veins runs in many different directions, but photography is my real passion. This is where I express myself (and surprise myself) I'm no star photographer, but I really get satisfaction from taking good pictures and making good compositions. And I've been taking a lot of pictures lately. Cars, landscapes, people, architecture, animals etc. Pictures of anything remotely photogenic.
It's quite thrilling to insert the CF card in the Lexar reader and just wait for Aperture (THE best RAW workflow software on the planet) to import the shots so I can see the results of my efforts, and start sorting, picking and fine tuning my images before sending them to Photoshop for masking and final compositing (Yes, I'm very good with Photoshop too)
I love photography so much that if I had the opportunity to CMD-Z (that's CRTL-Z to those of you still stuck with Bill-ware...) part of my life I would want to be a photographer and travel the world documenting events and wildlife.

Well, so much for wasted youth and opportunity. Must get back to forecasting sales for FY07Q1 and set-up the bi-quarterly sales meeting...How fun is that?

JB

Well Well Well (or actually not..)

Dear Joe, Louis,Tom and Joe

Congratulations on Milburns first album, Well Well Well. I've been following your band for quite a while now and was really looking forward to the release of you album. Imagine my disappointment when I realized that the album is currently only available on the UK iTunes Store....
I know that Denmark may not be top of your list, but making music available on iTunes is fairly easy and introduces no extra distribution costs etc. I could of course go completely grandfather and find a decent record shop and have them order the CD for me. However most shops charge an arm and a leg for this service and it would really bother me to pay a premium to a reseller who doesn't even care enough about music to actually stock your album.
I know that I shouldn't be pointing my guns at you guys, but rather at your label. I'm guessing that your label have signed off their distribution rights to different labels/companies in different countries and whatever stupid company owning the distributing rights in DK cannot be arsed to do anything serious about it because your band is not yet big enough so they don't receive any marketing funding from the parent label...

It's really sad that the world still has to rely on arcane music distribution when there are modern more efficient alternatives available.
Unfortunately I'm too busy to visit your fair island before December so I guess I'll have to wait until then to pop into an HMV a pick up a copy. Good thing is that I may be able to synchronize my trip with your Camden gig!

Regards,
JB

I have my very own and personal Mrs. Robinsson. She's pushing 50 but she's still a very hot and passionate woman and I believe that every guy should be allowed his very own specimen. I met her ten years ago when I was in my early 20s and we still meet every 6 months or so for drinks and a couple of nights of no-strings-attached sex.

Anyway, my Mrs. R runs a quite successful modeling agency and this week by coincidence I met her while visiting a studio of a mutual friend where she was doing a casting for a female fashion underwear-peddling company.

Mrs R had arranged an impressive line-up of very talented young girls all hoping to land a contract with above mentioned fashion house. Maybe I'm getting old but, bar none, these girls were perhaps the most superficial and stupid bunch of women I've ever met. The constant name-dropping, the ubiquitous chatter about luxury fashion brands, the constant angst of not yet having received a VIP invitation to the MTV Music Awards in November. Man, these girls were between 18 and 22 and looking good was all they knew how to do, and being "somebody" or "with somebody" was all that mattered to them. Empty lives with no prospects beyond the age of 23 other than netting a rich husband and kicking back as a kept woman...

(OMG...I'm ranting about the youth...I'm starting to sound like my dad...)

Well, enough about hot young chicks with fit bodies and feather brains. I must now get in the shower so I'm all clean and fresh for when Mrs. R arrives in an hour.

Hope your week-end looks as exciting as mine:-)

JB

Endeless hours

Work is extremely busy at the moment, but I'm hoping that things will calm a bit down later this week giving me more time to update my blog.

I have a lot of things to blog about, including some very funny e-mails I've received from semi-angry US citizens expressing their cranky attitudes towards my sometimes euro-centric and US-bashing entries. Some of these mails are involuntary funny and are contributing to strengthen the confidence in my suspicion that some Americans are a sad bunch of ignorant and uncultured people.

In other news:

- Spendt a nice week-end celebrating New Year (!) with a surprise visitor from London
- New colleauge that is utterly annoying
- Still got the work blues

JB

Babysitting

Last week I was charged with the responsibility of looking after my 4 years old niece a couple of hours while my sister and her husband went to a funeral.
Not having any kids myself I'm not that comfortable around youngsters but at least I managed to sit her down with some A3s and a bunch of crayons. While she was sitting there and I went about the flat doing some chores I was having Frank Zappa playing on the stereo.
The particular album providing the musical backdrop to our activities was "Sheik Yerbouti" (say it out loud..) This choice of music turned out to be most unfortunate as the little toddler apparently enjoyed Franks friendly voice and was singing along (making the words up as she went along) to some of the catchier tunes.

The really, really bad thing was that apparently my niece is quite good at imitating and remembering sounds so when her parents picked her up later that afternoon she was joyfully singing "ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute" over and over again without understanding a word she was saying. Unfortunately my sister and her Aussie husband had no trouble decoding her mumblings and I had to explain what had transpired a couple of times before they at least pretended to forgive me.
Good thing I didn't tell them the title of that particular song: "Broken hearts are for assholes"


JB

Naughty Meetings ?

This morning I had a meeting at a hotel on the fringe of the city centre. The meeting was held in the hotel conference centre and obviously other great companies were using their facilities as well. Running a bit late I was looking for my meeting room and in doing so I passed a room (door shut...) which had this sign on it...WTF is a Dilf? I wasn't born yesterday and I've surfed the web enough to know about M.I.L.Fs so In my filthy mind these Dilf guys must be up to something naughty. Any ideas? Maybe the D stands for "Dads"...?

(For the linguistic challenged: the sign says "Welcome to Dilf", see Danish is an easy language...)


JB

Amsterdoomed

Business travel comes with many perks but being chained in a the hotel room for work related things-that-cannot-wait-and shoud've-been-done-yesterday-anyway-reasons is definitely not one of them.

So here I am in the fair Dutch capital toiling and typing away on my keyboard trying to catch up on some emerging boss issues that demands attention. I should be taking long leisurely strolls by the canals and enjoying that I really don't have any work-related obligations before tomorrow morning where I'm supposed to staff the corporate booth at yet another industry tradeshow.

I know I should really dry my eyes and just get the job finished so I can join the gang of merry colleagues already putting their sobriety to the test at the hotel bar downing G&Ts like there's no tomorrow.

Amsterdam is a nice city. I call it a reverse-Paris, because in Amsterdam the natives are a cool bunch of laid-back people whereas the Parisians are in general just plain arrogant and snotty. Anyhow, I like Amsterdam, but every time I come here I'm amazed by the large number of foreign tourists roaming the streets drinking, shouting and gawking at the women in the windows.

The liberal Dutch attitude towards cannabis and prostitutes is somehow inspiring the tourists to abandon all forms of good behavior so they monkey about in an various advanced states of intoxication trying to annoy everybody and wreak havoc on the city while the natives are gaping spectators to all the hubbub.

Oh well, now pass the Kleenex, and I'll stop the whining and get back to work, so I can enjoy a bit of Amsterdam before the tourists turn it into an inebriated hellish inferno.

JB

No Relation

I share a rather rare and uncommon surname with a guy around my age who also happens to be a rising star in domestic Danish politics. This of course leads to all sorts of questions from friends, acquaintances and business people that I meet. Although only around 260 people has that surname I have absolutely no idea how we connect on the family tree.

It's kind of ironic that I should share name with a politician as in general I go out of my way not to be involved in politics at all. and I quite happily wander through life deftly avoiding anything connected even remotely to politicians or politics.

Generally speaking I have an extremely negative perception of politicians and of the work they do. Most of the time I wonder if they became politicians because they couldn't get a real job and I definitely don't subscribe to the often mentioned reasons people have for becoming politicians. It's always something about "fighting for justice", "giving back to the community" or "social consciousness" when politicians talk about what on earth possessed them to choose that particular line of work. All bollocks to me. I highly suspect that 99% of politicians are driven by big egos, an urge to seek confrontation and a strong desire to make the world conform to their own beliefs.
These are exactly the things that leads a politician to circumvent the truth and ignore facts whilst turning the blind eye to critical details.

Rant over.

JB

4x4

Most men would probably agree that a long legged hot blond in a fancy super car is an object of desire. I'm not going to dispute the fact that on occasion I've turned my head to enjoy a sight like that and I admit that chicks like that does provoke a certain physical response.
However, I will dare to make the claim that in certain cases a nice girl in a 4x4 can be an equally satisfying experience. Mind you, I'm not talking about those middle aged kept housewives driving around town in their brand new and shiny Chelsea tanks. No, give me a woman in a beat-up Land Rover and I'll show you a woman that radiates self confidence and class in a very erotic way.

Yes, I'm strange.

JB

On Art

Even for people who know me it often comes as a surprise that I have an artistic vein that although it runs deep and silent sometimes surfaces and demands attention. Not that any of my work is any good or very interesting to anybody but yours truly, but the thing is that I sometimes spend entire week-ends dabbling with photography and often end up fooling around in Photoshop creating some rather odd looking compositions.
To compensate for my utter lack of talent in this field I like to visit art galleries, browse the web or as I did just recently walk through the city and experience some of the street art that seems to appear on every corner these days.
Street art is very controversial, I know. Some of the self proclaimed artist are writing "cunt" or "art is not a crime" on what seems like just about every vertical surface. This is not art, and this will never be art. It is vandalism and the perpetrators deserve all the community service they can get.
On the other hand some people seem to use the public space to create a statement or to comment on society in a way that justifies the means. These guys are extremely rare, and walking through the city this week-end I unfortunately didn't see any of their work. All I saw was irrelevant doodles and tags done by juveniles. Copenhagen is indeed a poor city when it comes to street art.
I wish more street artists were like Banksy. This brilliant artist shrouded in mystery not only has the artistic skills required to convey his messages but every piece that he does is relevant and makes a point. You may not like his work and you may disagree with him, but his art demands attention in a way that's impossible to ignore, and being impossible to ignore is truly the hallmark of any great artist and separates the great from the mediocre.

JB

From great to good

The new single from Little Man Tate finally hit the streets (and iTunes Music Store) on the 28th. So there I was clicking away impatiently waiting for the downloads to finish. 20 minutes later I'm a bit frustrated and disappointed. I can't believe how an otherwise great and promising band can hype a single totally out of proportions and then fail to deliver the way Little Man Tate does on "House party at Boothy's".

It's not that it's a bad effort, it's just that during the past months I've come to expect much more from the lads. The new single has a dull edge, slightly boring guitar riffs, no in-your-face-beats and the lyrics are showing a desperate lack of imagination and renewal. It even sounds like Jon Windle (vocals) is a bit disattached and I sit back with a feeling that the band itself did not enjoy making this single.

If you're already familiar with Little Man Tate, then go and buy (click, click) the damn single and be happy to support a band with great potential. If you're new to the band I strongly suggest you buy the singles "The Agent" and "What, what you got?" first. That way you'll know what this band is capable of and wont be scared away by the mediocre new single.

Even better. Go see them live. I haven't have the pleasure myself but it's an experience that comes highly recommended.

JB

Food

This blog is not about bashing Americans for being an uncultured and somewhat ignorant bunch of arrogant people, but when evidence of such a behavior is waving it's presence right in my face, I just have to hit the keyboard and type away.

This Saturday night I went to what you might classify as a "Gourmet Restaurant" You know, the kind of place that will serve you a tasting menu of 6-7 different dishes and offer wine that goes very well with the food. You go to a place like this with high expectations and looking forward to all the hidden surprises a master chef can put into a meal, like unorthodox or even controversial use of spices and ingredients. In a nutshell each dish and the wine that goes with it, is well thought through and is served exactly the way the chef intended it to be. Without sounding pretentious it's food bordering on art.

So, I'm sitting there stuffing my face with truffles served with tomatoes and vanilla sauce when an obviously American couple enters the restaurant. Obvious, because the 70-something woman is wearing an almost fluorescent pink dress (and trainers) and looks like she draws heavily on Barbara Bush and Dame Edna for fashion advice. The much younger man (her son?) is perhaps in his 40s and one glance at his oversized camera, short sleeved shirt and what looks like pants he got from a UPS guy (and trainers) makes it evident that here's a 100% genuine American couple.
It's also immediately evident to the trained eye that this couple is in a wrong place - they don't belong in a place like this. Oh, they're probably loaded with dosh and could buy the restaurant fifty times if they wanted to, but when it comes to food appreciation I'm guessing they're not exactly trained in that particular area. My suspicion is soon confirmed...

After taking in the scene for a whole 45 seconds the guy raises his hand and shouts "Waiter"...hmmm...OK, he might be hungry. The waiter brings a cart and offers a selection of 7 or 8 different kinds of Champagne. He starts to explain the subtle difference between the various bottles, but receives little interest from the couple. They end up ordering something with "Chateau" in the name because they "like the French stuff" (the couple obviously unaware of the fact that ALL Champagne is French...).
The 6 piece tasting menu seems to contain a lot of things they haven't heard about, so instead of trying something new (and maybe get a pleasant surprise) they order the closest thing to steak on the menu - Chateaubriand. After what seems like 15 min - during which the man is clearly getting more and more impatient - the finely prepared and well presented meal is arriving at their table. The meat looks very good and perfectly cooked and is served together with a fungi pie and mashed potatoes. Not good enough for Mr. American. He insists (rather loudly) that the take the meat back on cock it some more. The waiter kindly explains that this Chateaubriand is supposed to be served not too well done, but the couple insists and the waiter politely takes the meat away and goes to ruin it in the kitchen. After returning with the now obliterated meat the couple change their minds and decides that they, after all, will enjoy some red wine with the meal. Cue the sommelier.
The wine expert explains to them that with this particular meal he highly recommends some Italian red that goes very well with the fungi, or perhaps an Australian Shiraz to complement the meat. Of course the couple ignores his advice and goes for a French Beaujolais (they like "the French stuff...") that is very well known to go down well with chicken and white meat but is totally missing the mark when it comes to red (well, former red in this case) meat.
And finally, 5 minutes into their over cooked Chateaubriand, they finally prove they're true red, white and blue bleeding Americans: "Waiter, can we have some Ketchup?"

JB

Fergie

Dear Fergie

Please return to the Black Eyed Peas immediately. Your solo effort is rubbish.

P.S: I realize that you're an American and as such I expect you to be a little ignorant about certain things. However, if you must use a European landmark, London Bridge, as a title for your single the very least you could do is to make sure to use the right bridge for your cover. The bridge in the background is in fact Tower Bridge...

JB

Unemployment

There's an interesting public debate about unemployment going on in Denmark right now. The Big Morning Papers all had a story about how the National Postal Service needed 100 mailmen but only received 26 applications and ended up hiring only 3 of the 5 (of the 26) that actually showed up for a job briefing. This story emerged on the back of another story last week about some newspaper distributing companies that had to import 2700 polish workers to distribute their newspapers in the capital area, as apparently no-one living in Denmark wanted those jobs either. The city of Copenhagen has 22.000 registered unemployed.

These stories both caused a minor outrage, especially from politicians to the right of the middle, and people generally felt that if unemployed fit people refused to work, or even refused to apply for a job, they should be punished by reducing their access to social services and decreasing their financial benefits from the state.

I found this odd. Being a mailman is a respectable profession and well paid too - 11.500 GBP, with pension plan, 6 weeks vacation etc. Working for a distributing company pays a little less, but still enough to make an honest living. So, I was baffled.
Listening to a radio talk show today, it dawned on me that the media had completely failed to tell the whole story. It turned out that the 110 mailmen where only needed on Saturdays (so you can forget the 11.500 p.a) and that the distributing company required people to work odd hours (00.00 - 06.30) So the real reason behind the lack of applications was not due to the unemployed being lazy, but due to the fact that a) you cannot support yourself, or even a family, by working just Saturdays and b) Single moms and dads and everybody else with a healthy social life cannot work odd hours - and the companies were not prepared to pay enough for the night stints.

My lesson is (again alas) that one should NEVER trust what the media presents as fact and one should ALWAYS investigate before making up their mind.

JB

Black hat llist

As mentioned earlier I find it difficult to find motivation for my work at the moment. I know that all jobs has their dark sides and are loaded with tasks that are dull and boring so I've made a list of the things that are annoying me the most for the moment:

1 - The fact that we'll have to move office soon means that I'll know face a 50 min. morning commute through heavy traffic. The commute back will take around 40 min. for a total of 90 min. a day. Presently my total commute time is 25 min. so this represents a 260% increase in time spend in agonizing pain on the roads of greater Copenhagen. Using public transportation is not an option, as I need the car for work.

2 - The fact that "The company that shall remain nameless for keeping my job reasons" has decided to increase my yearly revenue target (thus lowering the commission pay) 45 days BEFORE the end of the fiscal year. Of course it's in the contract that the company can change the targets at their discretion, but moving the goal posts so close to the finish line is not very motivating.

3 - The fact that the organization is moving towards more centralized control generates a lot of redundant reporting and inputting (is that a word?) as the central people are "struggling to understand our business" All good, but taking item 2 above into consideration I don't really have time to fill out the plethora of spreadsheets and Powerpoints that they keep requesting.

4 - The fact that people on the country levels are reduced to monkies as we're required to run around in circles implementing all sorts of sales and marketing programs that come out of central without any control over local implementation. I'm a seasoned sales executive and I think I should be able to spot a good sales program from a bad one.

5- The fact that the company insists on enforcing an antiquated "Room Sharing Policy" when people get together in large groups for tradeshows etc. This also applies if you're working week-ends and late night. Room sharing is OK if you're in the boy scouts, but asking adult professional people to accept this is ludicrous, especially when considering that the duration of the stay can easily be 4 days or more. I need my privacy.

6 - The fact that the Nordic regional HQ is placed in Stockholm and the Nordic MD is doing everything he possibly can to "bring the group closer together and become more regional" This sounds like a good idea, but in real life it roughly translates into "give us (in Sweden) some information using this template, that closely resembles the template you've already filled out once, only structure the information in a slightly different way" Sigh.

7 - The fact that my boss (or rather his boss or his boss' boss) has developed a nasty habit of dumping "urgent things that cannot wait" on my desk. Usually this kind of work needs top priority which means that I'll probably have to spend yet another evening working instead of having fun and chasing women.

8- The fact that I get into the office around 6.30 AM and leave 12 hrs. later while my colleagues (including my boss) are happily living the 9-5 dream.

9 - The fact that lately some boring and recurring administrative tasks have been assigned to me because the company is too cheap to hire a sales support person. Usually dirt travels south, but I cannot ask my assistant to do it as she's already got her hands full, so I'm stuck with the lame job(s) of typing in long sequences of numbers in user un-friendly sales support systems.

10 - The fact that my colleagues are annoying me with their endless chatter about gardening, children, pets and all sorts of rubbish that I don't really relate to.

So these are the hard facts. Maybe tomorrow I'll do the positive list and see if I can manage to balance the Ick/Yay-factor.

JB

Unexpected company

Four years ago I had a short and intense affair with a married woman. It wasn’t a plain vanilla love affair, it was more like a sexual thing. Not too many feelings involved but what we lacked in affection was more than made up for in terms of physical attraction.

Sandra (not her real name) was not only married. She also had 2 kids and lived with her husband, kids, sister and a friend of a friend in a huge flat situated right in the center of the city.

I’ll never understand how she ended up getting married. Sandra is many things, but monogamous is definitely not one of them and I was just yet another guy in a long line of guys (and girls) enjoying her skills between the sheets.

Now, some people might be tempted to call her a cheating promiscuous slut, but we all have our demons and we should not judge others on how they chose to fight theirs.

Anyway, a few nights back I was sitting home alone in my new flat feeling frustrated about the fact that my internet connection was still not working.

Sulking in the beanbag I’m interrupted by a subtle knock on the door and as I slowly move down the hallway I can see the frame of a woman through the frosted glass. Opening the door renders my speechless. It’s Sandra. Haven’t seen her for four years and there she is looking more beautiful, slim and fit than ever. As I lean down to give her a hug I get an immediate response in my pants and smelling her perfume I instantly get some rather naughty flashbacks.

After the usual “oh-my-god-it’s-been-too-long”-greetings we end up on the couch with a chilled bottle of Chardonnay and the best crisps the house has to offer. As time progresses and the bottle of Chardonnay is joined by a few of it’s cousins Sandra tells me a story of divorce, depression and separation from her children.

Later that evening we end up cuddling in bed but there’s no sex, only words, and as she leaves early the following morning I realize that I might have gained something very unusual for me: a female friend.

JB

No connection

I'm still dealing with the fact that I have no internet connection in my new flat. It's driving me crazy that the ISP needs more than 3 weeks (!) to move a single line. How hard can it be?
Why is it that ISPs are focusing more on keeping their investors happy than satisfying their customers? With the huge profits that the telcos' are making these days, would it be so difficult for them to hire more people to do their work?

Ahh...I'm ranting...but I'm really annoyed by the fact that I'm taken hostage by an arrogant company. Anyway, Friday is the day when they're supposed to come by and connect the little wires that are sticking out of the socket in my home office. So maybe next week, I can start blogging again on a regular basis.

It also means that I can start to catch up with the lives of my favorite bloggers...

JB

Job Blues

I'm an ungrateful pathetic little twat. I have The Job that most people at my age and in the same business would absolutely be thrilled to have. Put my job (and a few past ones..) on your CV and most companies would hire you without asking any questions. Pay is good, the challenges are plenty, lots of European travel and all set nicely in a highly dynamic, innovative and international atmosphere.

In theory I should be happy, almost ecstatic, about my job situation but, alas, I'm not. I constantly feel the need to challenge and defy the management and most of my colleagues are annoying the living daylights out of me. Not quite sure what's causing this to happen to me, but I'm going through some kind of job-only depression and what's scary about this is that usually I'm very good at self-motivation but this time I feel truly stuck and all of my usual mental tricks acts like wet powder.

The company pan-Nordic social and semi-serious summer event is taking place in the near future and my mood is not getting any better thinking about that I'll have to go through the suffering of spending 48 hours listening to the drunken rants and ramblings of my Nordic peers, whose lives and ideas I don't give a toss about.

I need to think this through and pray to the job-satisfaction-fairies that I get through this pretty quickly.

JB

Let them eat cake

I very rarely eat cake and I think it must have been 5-6 years since I last set foot inside a bakery. It's not that I don't like cakes and sweet things, it's just that, well, I rarely touch the stuff.
Yesterday my 3 year old niece and her mother (my sister) came to visit, and since they, especially the little one, absolutely adore cakes and pastry I felt obligated to swing by the local bakery and buy some treats after work. Remembering that my niece really likes "Potato cake" (no veggies in there. It's basically vanilla cream inside some kind of baked dough with marzipan on top) so I had my mind firmly set. I wanted potato cake. The young girl in the bakery informed me that potato cake had sold out and I kindly declined her alternate offers and went away thinking that I could just pick up the cakes at another bakery.

4 bakeries and 0 potato cakes later it slowly dawned on me that this was a particular popular type of pastry and that the entire city was sold out and had been sold out since around noon. No potato cake. I was in a potato cake dessert.

What makes me wonder is that all the bakeries I visited had the same kinds of cake left at 17.45 and I wonder if bakers are just very poor at forecasting their sale or if there is some economic reason behind the fact that after 12.00 it's impossible to buy certain varieties of pastry because they sell out?
So, potato cake must be a very un-democratic pastry if the only way to get it is if you're unemployed or having a day off or something, so you can actually go to the bakery before they sell out?

I got 3 pieces of Danish instead. 2 are gone, mine is in the bin.

JB

The Parisian Date

Upon arrival at Paris’ Charles de Gaulle airport it always strikes me as bizarre that the normally very sophisticated Frenchmen allows its visitors to be greeted by one of the shabbiest and brassy capital airports in Europe. However, thinking about my imminent tête-à-tête with the lovely K I soon forget the sad excuse for an international airport and leave the tackiness of the airport behind me.

Having done my homework, I already now that the lovely K and I are staying in the same hotel, and upon my arrival I cross the consigner’s palm with enough euros to have him arrange that flowers and a personal note are brought to the Lovely K’s room before her arrival.

Friday night is the big night and I’ve arranged it so K will meet me on a street corner not far from the opera.
K arrives on looks like a dream, kissing her I have to fight the urge to go straight back to the hotel and share a passionate night of intimacy.
My favorite restaurant in Paris looks like it hasn’t changed since the 40s. The small downstairs reception area and bistro is bustling and the shouting of the locals blended with the faint murmur of the tourists combined with a traditional French menu makes it the perfect setting for a romantic date.

After dinner we stroll down the quaint narrow street outside the restaurant, talking, kissing, enjoying being together and both having that wonderful feeling of anticipation.
We’re now trying to get back to the hotel. It’s far to walk and we start to look for a taxi as we slowly saunter in the general direction of the hotel savoring the sounds and smells of the Parisian summer night. I suddenly realize that walking along the boulevards of Paris K and I are for the first time engaging in a real conversation about real things. Before, at the restaurant, we talked mostly shop interrupted only be sporadic flirtatious remarks and stolen kisses. But now it’s different. K talk about her childhood in Israel, how her family moved to the UK and how they struggled to get accepted in their new home. I talk about my childhood and about growing up in the comfort of a typical family. My story is totally different from hers but somehow we’re both able to relate and to understand.

Two hours later arriving at the hotel having walked all the way I find myself thinking about K in a different and more profound way. Before our little promenade I was entranced and captivated by her femininity and perfect beauty but post-walk I feel connected on a deeper level and see the sketchy outlines of a very interesting and wonderfully challenging person.

The sex was good and made in heaven, but the real treasure was found during a slow paced stroll through empty city streets and busy boulevards and the most exciting penetration was not one of the flesh but one of the mind.

Back in rotten Denmark sitting in my new flat looking out on the rain, body still sore from the week-end’s horizontal activities I feel that a fragile seed has been planted and that there’s now a whole new universe for me to discover.

Am I in love? Probably not. But I’m definitely in a very different place than I was before my Parisian date.


JB

Back but busy

I'm back at work again after a week of vacation and moving to my new flat.
My internet connection at home is still not up, and my ISP has managed to "squeeze me in already on the 18th" which is of course totally unacceptable, but being and old state monopoly with a 90%+ market share they pretty much live in a pre-millennium world and think they can basically treat customers any way they like.

I have a lot to talk and write about but my mailbox is screaming for attention and I need to wade through some 1000+ mails and figure out which ones to ignore and which ones I better not ignore.

My rendevous with the Lovely K in Paris went very well (if I close my eyes I can still see her walking around the hotel room in nothing but high heels) but I'll save the details for later when I have more time and a clearer head.

JB

Service Interrupted

This week I'm spending my vacation moving from my old flat to my new one. It's of course all very exciting, but it also means that I wont be able to access the internet and a regular basis before next week.

JB

Service Interrupted

This week I'm spending my vacation moving from my old flat to my new one. It's of course all very exciting, but it also means that I wont be able to access the internet and a regular basis before next week.

JB

Free Speech

STOP. Don't hit that back button or click "Next Blog" just yet. If you're a blogger or interested in blogging and free speech, please take your time to read this post.


This was going to be a post about me going on vacation and moving house next week, or I was going to write about how I'm going to Paris tomorrow to meet up with the Lovely K for 4 nights of Parisian passion.

But somewhere in Paris, events far more dark and sinister are taking place. Events that yesterday compelled one of my favorite bloggers to go public and disclose the shattering story about how she's been suspended from work for writing a blog about her life in Paris. And not just, suspended. No. Suspended for gross misconduct, even though she never disclosed any information about her employer. In fact her only "crime" seems to be that she at one point posted a picture of herself and that the picture allegedly could identify her employer and discredit the company.

This is of course a load of bollocks, and I was truly sad when I read the post and the article about her misfortune.

It also got me thinking that I need to be careful about what I write, how I write it and where I write it, because anything that you put in a blog is basically published and public information.
Yes, I sometimes blog about me work, but only in general terms and I always blog outside office hours, generally in the early morning hours. So all I'm doing really, is using the corporate network and company laptop, but that can also be a potential danger if someday the company decides they don't need me anymore.

I urge you to visit Petit Anglaise's blog and show your support for her. I'm sure that she needs to feel somebody is standing by her. Her writing is excellent (yes, I'm envious) and I'm confident that her blog is destined for hardcover publication.

An old and wise relative of mine once told me that the Chinese use two symbols to express the word "crisis" One is "danger" the other is "opportunity" (he was a clever chap, but this may be rubbish, however it's a good point...). I think what he meant was that no matter how bad things get, there's always a chance to come out strong and build something new.
I wish for Petit that she uses this crisis to turn her life around and free that beautiful author that lurks just beneath the surface.

JB

Movers going Mobile

A year ago I bought a new apartment and next week the builders are finally done so I should be able to move into my brand new home complete with oiled white ash floors and white Corian table tops for the kitchen and bathroom next week.

As the flat has been near ready for weeks I've moved most of my stuff already and next week I need some movers to lug the rest of my stuff away to the new place. It's down to a few items:

Dining Table (1x3m)
Double bed
2 small cabinets
1 small table

So, since we now live in the new millennium I find a website that specializes in requesting quotes from different companies, and sure enough I've received a lot of quotes. All the quotes offers me a standard price of between 350-400 pounds which seems a bit excessive since it's really only a few items and my new flat i less than 2 km away form my old one and is quite accessible.

So now I've started to poke around various web-site and calling up a few companies to explain just what I need. What I've found so far surprises me. Before looking into this I imagined that companies like that would all compete on price and that the services offered would be quite easy to compare. How wrong was I...

See, it turns out that prices on movers and the sheer diversity of services offered is almost as enormous as the services offered by mobile phone operators. Moving is apparently a complicated business after all...

I can chose between various "standard" products, which it turns out is not standard after all. So one company's "standard" service will include insurance, but not a full insurance. Another company's " standard" service will include full insurance (albeit not with the same coverage as other full insurance products) , but will demand a starting fee. A third company offers service by the hour but will not carry anything heavier than 95 Kg, whereas the fourth company will carry any weight but charges a premium for items heavier than 80 Kg....and so the list goes on and on with various products and mix of services offered at very different prices.
I can't believe this marked is so opaque to the consumer. There's just no way you can take to different companies and compare their services (and thus prices) head to head. It's all very confusing and time consuming.

What I'll probably end up doing is hiring a company that will send me 2 guys in a van and charge me on an hourly basis. I'll make sure these guys are insured against any damage done to the building or my apartment, as I've discovered that damage to the items themselves are in fact covered by my "standard" home insurance. Now, all I need to do is to find a company that offers this service for less then 100 pounds and give them the contract....and figure out how the hell to tell them the exact weight of my dining table...

JB

Teenage Envy

Yesterday a friend and I wasted a couple of lazy hours at the marina, sitting in the sun drinking chilled Chardonnay watching and commenting people as they strolled by.

On the bench on the other side of the promenade a teenage couple sits down. They sit very close together and even somebody with very limited body language reading capabilities can see that those two are really in to each other. Kissing and giggling with hands everywhere they're looking each other deep into the eyes barely balancing on the edge of decency.
The guy has an indolent look that is the hallmark of almost every teenager these days and with his 24 karat garden-hose, baggy pants and spiked hair he looks exactly like any other 16 year old.
The girl is less generic yet sports the obligatory high cut bikini, the ubiquitous flip flops and a tattoo on her lower back. She looks young, and I suspect that having crazy wild sex with her could seriously bring down the heat on that innocent looking 17 year old lad (15 being the legal age for sexual activities in this country)

Anyway. All that is beside the point. The point is that while wathcing those two laughing and having fun in the sun I was thinking that it would be nice if I was a teenager again. Sitting on a bench without a care in the world smooching with a nice girl and not worrying about anything else than her, being so deeply in love that everything else just loses importance. Not having to care about tomorrow or next year or how to structure my pension plan. Just allowing myself to fall in love with love without all the reservations that experience has taught me. Yeah, that would be nice...

But, it's not going to happen is it?. Because I'm an adult now, and adults are expected to be responsible and considered people and such people do not rush in without thinking things through first and contemplating every possible angle. Adults don't take many chances and putting some extra sugar in your latte is about as wild, daring and adventurous as most adults get. Not even in love can we escape the bondage of responsibility.

To make a sad point even sadder. I know that the 17 year old spotted teenager will probably sit on the marina 10 years from know and think "Hey. What happened? I used to laugh and fool around and now I'm sitting here with my drink and wonder where all my carefree happiness has gone".

And that's the sad fact of life. The tiny seed of love grows into a tangled web of considerations and challenges as the years pass you by. Even sadder though is the fact that I believe we ourselves are making it be that way because we're so used to worrying about everything, that worrying about love comes naturally to us.

Good news is that, since I then is the source of my worry, I can change the rules of the game and allow myself to experience the magic of falling in love again without the aid of a time machine.

JB

Memory lane

I really shouldn't be posting this link as a someone might accidentally give it a click and end up using too many hours browsing and watching (for free...) 100s of classic music videos from the 80s.

To me the 80s was a musical dessert with very few water reservoirs. I can't tell Yazz from Yazoo or Bangles from Bananarama because i basically spend my time in the 80s listening to Pink Floyd...

JB

Great Expectations

Bip, bip - the phone vibrates in my pocket competing with my still hot lunch sandwich for my attention. Drying my hands in the napkin I look at the colourful display of my P900 (pathetic phone btw - getting a Nokia next time) and press OK to read the message. It's the Lovely K.

"Miss your touch. IM me soon, OK?"

I finish my BLT at amazing pace and rush back to my office almost tripping over Connor (bosses' dog - brain like a pea, build of a rat and the ego of a lion) sending him running for cover with a surprised yelp.

Me: Hi princess - what's up
K: I'm in the office can't call right now...
K: ...just wanted to say that I miss you - xox
Me: ahhh that's sweet. Now what's really up?
K: I'm afraid that I need you...
K: in a meeting
K: in Paris next week
Me: When? Tue-Thu I'm busy rearranging my sock drawer...
Me: and Fri I'm dating Paris Hilton. Again.
K: Funny. It's Thu and Fri and you're invited to spend the week-end.
Me: Sounds like a plan.
K: Cool. And btw, I wasn't joking, I really do miss you and your hands...
Me: ...me too. You've been on my mind a lot lately.
K: ...and we both now you have a filthy mind
Me: Yes, maybe you could send me some juicy pictures..;-)
K: ...why not a movie?
Me: Actually, I'd much more prefer you live....
K: You will have me live and you must take me live, honey...
K: Gotta go, OK? Save yourself for me...
Me: CU soon pretty.

K logged off.

So the scene is set for what I hope is going to be a couple of Parisian nights of passion. And I don't think I can save myself for her until next week...If I close my eyes I can almost feel her moist body against my skin and imagine how beautiful she'll be as I slowly kiss her pink parts building up the pressure until she's tingling all the way from her neck to the tip of her toes and begging for release.

JB

Little Man Tate

No. Not Jodie Fosters bright little kid, but a fab band from Sheffield UK. As you may recall I have a soft spot for UK Indie and alternative pop/rock and if the same kind of music sounds appealing to you, you need to check out this band.

LMT has some excellent music that will have you singing and tapping your feet to every tune. The lyrics are all about everyday life and stuff that has happened to real people (oh and they even have a song about a threesome...) so if you're looking for political statements and involvement in the society you should look somewhere else (or go buy The Guardian) because this band is all about real life and partying.

If you're into bands like Dirty Pretty Things then Little Man Tate is definitely something you need to check out as they have some of the same in-your-face beats and interesting vocals.
These guys have yet to release their first real album, but while you wait you can check out their singles "The Agent" and "What, what you got" on iTunes, and while you're at, it don't forget to pre-order their next single release "House Party at Boothys" coming out Aug 21st.

You can check out the guys on their web site and you can even download some great demo tracks absolutely free,

Enjoy

JB

Next Generation Blog Browsing

Innovation, art and internet surfing blends into something very interesting over at We feel fine where 2 brilliant people have created something very unique and highly interesting.

Basically what their application does is searching thousands of blogs for feelings expressed by the author and then displays those feelings in various compelling and highly innovative ways. So if you're curious to see how female bloggers from Toronto in Canada is feeling today this application can show you all the details in a very visual way.

Although the application should be considered and treated like a work of art it can also be considered as a new and involving way to surf the internet and actually uses an interface that encourage users to explore unknown blog territory in a new way.

To me this is more innovative than anything Microsoft, Firefox or even Apple has ever come up with in the browser war and I wish the guys over at We Feel Dine all the best. What's even better is that the inventors have put up a full documented API on their web page allowing other designers and artists to take advantage of the information in their large databases and take true next generation blog browsing to new stellar highs.

JB

Minutes from a Cafe

Yesterday, M and I are sitting in a local café waiting for the World Cup final to start. I've known M for 15 years and we're both very single and both feeling a bit of presure from the immidiate family (namely mothers) to start breeding and produce some offspring.
`Have you seen the new girl in accounts receivables?´ M asks sipping his beer and fingering his beer-mat.
`- You mean Claudia? The tall blonde with the long legs and the huge attributes? The Scandinavian cliché? ´
M nods in agreement `Yep - I was going to ask her out this week-end, but then I noticed that she's got short fingers so I backed off.´
I take a long sip of my Hoegaarden and think about that for a while ´WTF you mean, short fingers? She has all ten of them, right?´
M makes a funny grimace ´Yeah, it's just that her fingers are really short. It's a total turn off for me. I prefer them long and slender.´

We fall into silence and I start thinking. I don't recall ever rejecting a girl because she had short fingers. I've rejected women because I've found them generally unatractive or even skanky or because they've been obsessively yaking on about stupefying american reality shows. But never because they had short fingers...

Anyway, M's remark got me thinking. What kind of women do I really prefer, or more to the point, which ones I don't prefer? Limiting myself to looking only at apperance seems a bit shallow, but I guess that it's a good place to start. When it comes to body type, I must admint that I really don't like the "porno body" that some women likes to put on display. To me, overly large (fake) tits and a Lopez-style arse sometimes seems a bit vulgar, especially when put on display on purpose. In my experience a porno body is often a cover for a bunch of insecurities that I don't really want to deal with in bed or outside. Instead I prefer the 5.2 - 5.4ish petit women with a nice face and a naturally proportioned build.

But to be fair, It's not only the outside apperance that matters, is it? I mean, if that was my only criteria it would be pretty easy to find someone. So, this is where things gets complex. Ideally to be perfect (for me) she'd need something extra. Something that makes her more, a lot more, than just another pretty face. Like a classic education so that she'll know that Schumpeter is not Britney's latest fragrance, or a knowledge of foreign cultures so she better understands the context we're living in and dont' believe that the Malya people lives in Himalaya, or an independent personality that sets her apart from all the other pretty girls so she won't become boring 3 shags down the line. And, this is important, she has realized that the 80s was not the paramount of musical innovation, but she is still cool enough to give Wham a spin every 6 months.

Scary moment approching... I think this girl does not exist and I live in utopia, a single mans fantasy world where women comes pre-labeled in neat little boxes so you can pick and choose any flavour you like and just pay at the till thank you very much.

I guess that what makes women complex is me. Not the women. Women are probably pretty straight foreward to understand but all this thinking and rambling has clouded my mind making the real picture hard to see. Give me another 10 years and I've probably figured it all out. Or not.

JB

Scary place

I work with a lot of Swedish people and most of them are quite sensible and nice, but this has me worried. I found this (1970s, I think) album cover floating around on the internet, and although it looks innocent enough, I think the picture has a somewhat eerie and foreboding feeling about it, and the way the (Swedish, I assume) guy in the foreground is holding what appears to be an axe reminds me of Jack Nicholson in The Shining. And what's in the bag? Food or something far more disturbing like the severed head of kid number 9...

For more fun album covers I suggest you pay the Museum of bad album covers a visit.

Have fun!

JB

Spanish Slip

One should think that by now I should have learned that genius is located in the brain, not in the genitals. From past experience I know that sleeping with somebody I work with (sleeping=having gorgeous and wild sex) can be a sure way to make myself miserable, so I'm surprised that I'm now sitting here facing that same issue once again.

As you may now I've been to Barcelona for a few days for a pan-European company meeting. Apart from a lot of listening and talking these meetings comes with build-in social interactivity. This time, for me, the social part became maybe just a little too interactive as I interfaced perhaps a little too much with the lovely K, who has a central position working out of the company's' London office.

So, Saturday night coming home from the Shoko Lounge I bump into lovely K at the hotel bar, where she's sitting struggling to get her 2.5 inch heels off. Being a gentleman (albeit a drunk one) I offer my assistance and she returns the favor by offering me a drink.

Lovely K is a beautiful 5.3ish petit girl with long curly raven black hair framing her delicate featured face and Saturday night a black mini-dress graced her fit body. So, 5 or 10 minutes into the drink I find myself gently massaging her sore feet and very attracted to her beautiful smile and intelligent eyes. By the time the bar closes we both agree that one more drink probably can't hurt, so I put my arm around her and off we go to my room with every intention to raid the mini-bar.

Back in the room I'm mixing the drinks while she's freshening up in the bathroom and then the moment comes. I turn to give her my special Campari Soda/Vodka drink and at that moment I look at her and think: WOW. She's the pinnacle of femininity, not to fuck her would be a crime.

So, before the ice cubes are gone from our glasses we're in the shower washing off the sweat, kissing and whispering sweet and tender words.

That night I'll never forget. The way she curls her toes and arcs her body when reaching climax, the way her soft breath turns into heavy breathing, panting, and eventually screaming, the way her small tits and nipples reacts to even the softest touch or kiss, the way she bites the pillow because she won't wake up the neighbor, how her soft tanned flesh feels against mine or how I can gently massage her clitoris slowly going faster and faster and more rhytmic as her pressure builds up, and how she's asking for deep penetration just as an orgasm shakes her entire body and she feels like she's elevating from the befloatingng in mid-air feeling nothing but ultimate pleasure. No, that I'll never forget. And I'll also never forget the way she later used her body to bring me great pleasure, how demanding her mouth can be, how she would tease me for what seemed like a decade before finally bringing me to a powerful climax, and (very importantly) the way she can keep me up all night (literally) and still leave me wanting more, more, more...And post coital...Lying in bed, listening to her soft breathing realizing that the mere smell of her hair and skin can be arousing, kissing, hugging, stroking her thighs and kissing her nipples, feeling how I get a reaction from her as she again parts her legs and let me play, rub, kiss and lick until she's all orgasmic and ready for penetration again...

And in the morning at breakfast cherishing the fact that her and I now have a secret that we cannot tell anyone. Sitting with my group looking at her and lying through my teeth telling them that after the club I went straight to bed, whilst looking at her knowingly, and jumping up on down on the inside of my straight face. And sitting there enjoying breakfast, while extremely erotic fragments from last night keeps popping up in my head and feeling good about the pleasure she gave me, and feeling even better about the pleasure I gave to her.

So, as you can probably imagine I'm totally in to this woman and yet it just feels, well...wrong. You see, although we work for the same company and the distance between us is hundreds of miles, the different work related tasks that we have means that we'll sometimes need to professionally disagree, and argue a lot, and scream, and go behind the others back to get things done. Getting emotionally involved with someone you need to challengege on work related issues from time to time is not healthy thing on a short term basis and can be a really dangerous thing on a long term basis (job-wise).
For the moment I've decided to keep the line warm and respond in a sweet, naughty or just pure dirty way to the sweet little e-mails and text messages she's been sending my way. See what happens...

JB

So, it's been a while since my last update.

Barcelona was great. Returning to the city a seeing how much has happened there over the last 15 years was amazing. The area around the Olympic Marina is absolutely great with beautiful buildings and new art and sculptures to explore at every turn. In fact, Barcelona was so great that I decided to stay over the week-end and returned home Sunday evening.

Saturday evening I went to Shoko Lounge. Japanese Sushi restaurantt in the day time and booming nightclub and lounge in the night. Located at the marina right next to the beach the place is a perfect setting for a night of drinking, dancing and chatting up the lovely Spanish chicas. The music, however, is debatable .Apparently the "hottest Spanishh DJ" is the resident MC and he has a strong preference for House. Maybe my age si showing here, but isn't house music just about the most 90s you can possibly get bar wearing Converse hi-tops? Anyhow, the locals, and especially the little honeys were strutting their stuff likethere'ss no tomorrow on the dance floor so the music can be all bad.

More soon

JB

News Flash

Just had a fantastic and eventful week-end and I now have proof that cold drinks and hot women mix very well.

In other news I'm leaving for Barcelona tomorrow. Usually traveling on business involves going to interesting places and sitting inside looking out for 48 hrs. Not this time!
So, my meeting is Wednesday and Thursday, but as we start early on Wednesday and the afternoon flight out of Copenhagen was fully booked Tuesday afternoon, this means that I'll leave tomorrow morning and will actually have a full day to myself in Barcelona. But, it gets better...See Thursday the meeting is supposed to end around 5.00 PM which means that I cannot catch the last flight back and will have to spend another night in Barcelona. Good times!

It's been ages since I've been to Barcelona and I look forward to seeing the city again. Also, Spain is playing France on Tuesday, which means that with a bit of luck I can experience the dancing and singing in the streets when Spain sends the frogs back under the rock from which they crawled.

Hasta luego

JB

Routine

06.00 Buzzer goes off.
06.09. Buzzer goes off again
06.18 Buzzer goes off again again
06.25 Shit , shower and shave
06.45 Breakfast (cornflakes)
06.55 Leave house
07.13 Arrive at office
07.14 Punch in incorrect code for burglar alarm (again)
07.15 Punch in correct code
07.20 Make espresso
07.22 Start working
11.30 Eat lunch
12.00 Continue work
16.57 Leave office
16.58 Punch in incorrect code for burglar alarm (again)
16. 59 Punch in correct code
17.20 Arrive at supermarket car park
17.50 Fighting spoiled little kids and their parents at the till
17.55 Remove parking fine from windscreen
17.58 Leave car park
18.10 Arrive home
18.15 Dinner for one
18.35 Stalk other peoples blogs - no updates
20.35 Update own blog
21.00 Stalk other peoples blogs (again) - still no updates
23.30 To bed

Did I learn anything today? No. Did I evolve as a person today? No. Did I meet any new people today? No. Did I influence or impact other peoples lives today? No. Did I leave a mark for posterity today? No.

Hmm...Some days just pass you by, and when you look back you discover that you actually didn't really do anything that day. I have to many days like that.

JB

Update: Ooops, I did it again...

Regarding last night all is cool and I managed to make a clean break for once. Good thing Sandra has the same trouble committing as I have, so we both agreed to "be just friends", which as you know is semantically equal to "Bye. Thank you for some amazing sex and have a nice life"


JB

Ooops, I did it again...

About six weeks ago I started seeing this girl Sandra and tonight I'm going to end it ,and as usual I feel like a heel for starting a relationship when I know that I'm not very good at being in one.

I've dumped someone before, but as my "she dumps me/I dump her" ratio is pretty high (meaning I get dumped a lot, I guess) I know exactly how devastating it can be, even if said relationship has been short term. So I'm feeling bad for doing this, but it's something I just have to do, as doing it later will only make matters worse.

So how should I do it? I need options...According to Simon & Garfunkel there's 50 ways to leave a lover, so it's really pathetic that I can only think of seven:

1- Send a text message: "Hi, I don't wanna see you again. Sorry xox" That would work if I was in the 4th grade and has a high insensitivity score. Not gonna use that one.

2 - Call her: "So, Sandra I was thinking maybe we shouldn't see each other any more" If I was a complete twat I could do this, but since I've cancelled my subscription to "Men of low moral fiber Magazine Weekly" ages ago, it's not going to work either.

3- Send her a letter: "Dear Sandra..." This is 2006 - No way, I'm gonna send a letter! Just figuring out where to buy stamps and envelopes, and then finding a mailbox would take me another 6 weeks. In addition to which my handwriting is so horrible, she'd probably think it was her 5 years old nephew having a go.

4 - Send her an e-mail: "Hi S, I think you're a great person and all, but..." Just how I like my women, tempting and dangerous. E-mails are very easy to respond to and I don't need our breaking up to turn into a debating society, plus e-mails can be easily forwarded to 3rd parties who will take her side and start spamming my mailbox. Also scores high in the twat department.

5- Ignore her, until she stops calling/mailing/writing. That only works if you wanna get rid of annoying mistakes like one night stands. Applying this technique when you've been seeing somebody for 6 weeks is only going to lead to unnecessary worry. Also, this scores pretty high on the twat-o-meter.

6 - Not show up for a date. This sends a clear message and if I was a real coward (and a twat) this would be an option. However, empathy is going to disqualify this option.

7 - Tell her face to face. If I can avoid the "it's-not-you-it's-me-trap" this is will be the best and most decent way to end the relationship. There might be tears and there might shouting, and there's no way to avoid the "have-we-given-it-a-fair-chance-discussion". Shying away from conflict is not really an option in this case and I've done my share of easy solutions.

Conclusion seems obvious in this case. I'm going to look her in the eye and tell her it's over. Come hell or high water - this is the right solution.

Wish me luck...

JB

Dear girls in the office

It's not that I'm ungrateful or anything... I mean, I really like it in the summer when you're all tanned and beautiful and I do appreciate your small tops and mini skirts. It's good to re-discover the female curves you've been hiding under your sweaters all winter. But, ladies, if you absolute must wear flip flops or other varieties of open shoes would it be too much trouble to spend 15 quid on a pedicure first? Lovely as you may be, if your toe nails and feet are not well cared for it's a major turn off. Not that I'm a fetishist or anything, but ugly feet just adds too much to the ick factor.


JB

The American Village

In a comment to a recent post on my blog about the French being both arrogant and wonderful at the same time, a remark about the American flavor of arrogance sparked a minor discussion.

So, In the interest of fairness I've dug up some interesting trivia about Americans and the US that I'd like to share.

According to the Economist, 34% of US citizens hold a passport. This is a scary number because it means that most Americans don't get out much. I'm speculating that a majority of those who do travel abroad do so for business or military purposes. It also means that Americans in general are not exposed to cultural differences in the same way that Europeans are.
As a European I think that traveling to other countries and get first hand experiences of other cultures and customs is something that helps me grow as a person, enlightens me and makes me more tolerant. So, the Americans in general are spending their time happily unaware about the world outside and perhaps afraid that if they venture too far they might fall of the edge of the earth.

In the recent PEW study (measures the worlds attitude towards the US) there are many interesting facts and conclusions illustrating just how isolated most Americans are from the rest of the world. Only 58% of Americans compared to 85% of the Germans (83% France) have heard that Hamas has recently won an election and only 76% of Americans compared to 98% of the Germans had heard about the Guantanamo abuses.
In the US 91% have heard about global warming, but almost half responded that this issue was of little or no concern. Well, I'm concerned since the US is a really really big producer of greenhouse gases...

A piece of good news is that the US image in UK, France, Germany and Spain is rapidly declining, which means that I'm not the only one who thinks that US foreign policy has taken a turn for the worse. And it only reinforces my suspicion that US is trying to build an empire based exclusively on American values and we as Europeans should not jump on that bandwagon.

However, speaking for myself, there’s more to it than just the way the US is handling the WOT. As a European I’m also flabbergasted by some of the aspects of internal US policy and I have very different views on abortion, gun control, the death penalty and various environmental issues + a lot of other stuff that I can’t think of right now. Combined this means that I feel more estranged from the US than ever before.

Don’t get my wrong. There is a lot of good stuff coming out of the US too. It’s not all bad, and still we should remember to treat the individual American with the same courtesy and respect that we bestow upon others and if we get the chance teach them to become more European.

Finally, a small joke:

George Bush: `So, what’s this hullabaloo between India and Pakistan all about anyway? ´

Dick Cheney: `They have conflicting opinions about Kashmir, Mr. President´

George Bush: `What?? They’re fighting over a sweater?? ´



JB

Attentive Director apparently

Sometimes I get this irresistible urge to take some of those more or less serious personality test floating around on the net.

I find this one pretty funny. Click on the picture to the right and se my score...100% masculine as if I needed a test to tell me that;-)


JB

Black & White

I work with a lot af people from a lot of different countries and thus have good opportunity to observe the little differences between people coming from very different places.
The people who amaze me the most are the French and I can confirm the suspicion that they are very arrogant and self-sufficient, and it's about bloody time somebody told them that:

- French is NOT an international language. In fact French is number 10 after Chinese, English, Spanish, Arabic, Russian, Portuguese, Bengali and Malay.

- Being French is NOT a quality in itself. Even French people have to work hard to be recognized.

- Bastille Day is NOT an international Bank Holiday and neither is May 1st.

- Working for the same employer for 40 years is NOT something to be proud of.

- You really DON'T need 6-10 weeks of vacation

- Arrogance is NOT and art you need to practice on a regular basis.



I work with a lot af people from a lot of different countries and thus have good opportunity to observe the little differences between people coming from very different places.
The people who amaze me the most are the French and I can confirm the suspicion that they are very cultured and sophisticated, and it's about bloody time more people realize that:

- Traditional French food is ABSOLUTELY fantastic

- French IS an easy language to learn. If you’re familiar with other Latin languages you’ll actually be able to read a French newspaper (well, slowly)

- French women are FANTASTIC lovers

- Some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met are French



JB

Summer

Summer has arrived, err... at least to day anyway. So I'm enjoying sitting almost naked outside in the sun with a G&T and praying to the football-fairy that the Cuckoo Clock-makers will beat the hell out of the frog-eaters later tonight.


JB

Joy

Yes, my new 17" MacBook Pro finally arrived! Unfortunately this means that I won't have time to blog until all the data from my old PowerBook is safely is transported to the new beast.

JB

Summer party, or not...

This coming Friday we'll have our annual office summer party. My ideal summer pary would involve sitting in the sun with a G&T, eating BBQ and maybe have a friendly and relaxed game of soccer or something similar. Unfortunately the organising committee have very different ideas. Last year they sent us on a 10 Km moutainbike trip in the woods and since I really can't be arsed to get on a bike for fun I chose to run the distance instead. Not that running is fun, it's more like a chore, but it definitely beats pedalling around on a rented bike.
This year the wise people in the committee are planning an equally fun day out and have decide that we need to go to some semi-remote place for a day of team-building. How 90's can you get? Solving puzzles, getting everybody through a web of ropes, getting everybody over a rope, getting everybody under a rope, stacking some used tires in the right order etc. etc. Really, people is that supposed to be fun? And later getting fired up on beer listening to the same old stories you've heard at least 10 times before and then watching some twat trying desperately to pull every female colleague without any success and knowing that you'll have to listen to his apologies the following Monday. Not funny.

So, this year I've decided to stay away from the summer party. It's not that I don't like my colleagues (except above mentioned twat) but I prefer to spent my time doing what I like to do and not what some well meaning organisers think is clever and funny. Of course canceling participation has caused a minor disturbance in the office and I suspect the organising committee is flabbergasted that someone can actually decline an invitation to the-mother-of-all-office-summer-parties.

Also, I have a group of friends and we've been doing activities like, team-building, in-door skiing, race car driving, diving, decathlon, biking, hiking, golfing, swimming and just about any other group activity you can think about of on a regular basis for years and I really prefer to do stuff like that with friends and people that I've made a conscious choice to be with. Playing with your colleagues is just not as fun as playing with your mates.

JB

Not exactly Brad Pitt

You don't look with your hands...

I while ago I had an unusual bit of luck and actually won 500 FREE songs on the iTunes Music Store. This has enabled me to explore a lot of music that I otherwise would have missed. Instead of keeping all the good stuff for myself I've decieded to blog a bit about some of the music I've purchased.
My taste in music is very versatile and right now I'm kind of falling in love with the British indie scene.

If you like "The Arctic Monkies" you need to check out a band called Milburn and their EP - "Send in the Boys". There's 3 really good and quite catchy tunes on there, and especially "17" and the title track "Send in the Boys" are indicating that this band could be the next big thing.

You can check out the lads here and of course here

Enjoy

JB

Glorious Morning on Route 19

One of the real benefits of living north of Copenhagen is that you get to enjoy the slow moving southbound morning rushhour. This morning it took me 55 mins. to drive from my house to the airport - normally a 25 min drive.

The city of Copenhagen have proposed a road pricing scheme to limit the amount of cars entering the city hoping to soften the daily gridlock. This is probably good if you live in Copenhagen city, but if you live outside, like I do, you're probably not going to notice any difference (for the better) since everybody will be busy driving their cars as close as they can to the perimeter.

I'm all for road pricing and all that hippie stuff, but I think that the cities around Copenhagen should also put a price on their roads, so that all the merry people living inside the perimeter would have to pay to leave. Now that's genius, because it would greatly reduce the number of annoying city dwellers who come and clutter our beaches and woods and every green spot you can imagine with their week-end kit, including tents, fires, the in-laws and friends of the in-laws.


JB

Meeting...

I'm in a meeting and should really pay attention to the presenter, but blogging is more fun and the presentation is for the customers and way too technical for me anyway and being a sales manager I'd rather leave the nitty-gritty stuff to the techies anyway.

Only thing bothering me is that our guy (someone corporate send over) is not performing well and is very uninspiring and seems, well, unengaged. Either he got too late out of bed this morning or this stuff is just too tech to be really interesting.

Bla...bla...bla....Sony XDCam HD....bla...bla...Support for 1080/59.94i/50i....bla...bla...Editing Integration....well, all interesting if you happen to work in the tech department at a Broadcaster I guess, but for the rest of us....utter greek.

Hope your day is more inspiring than mine....


JB

Smells like...

Here's what I smell like. It's now official that I'm the inventor of fragrance-blogging™.

JB

Cure

Got flu? Here's the cure:

6-7 pcs. of thinly sliced fresh ginger
2 pcs. of fresh lemon
1 tbs. of honey
1 pint of HOT boiling water

Wait 5 mins. and drink. You can thank me later.

JB

Supermassive disappointment

I'm a huge fan of Muse and have been looking forward to their next album. To my surprise I don't like their latest single "Supermassive Black Hole". No matter how many times I listen to it I just don't like it. I really want to like it but I don't.

Sorry guys, but you sound too much like Savage Garden and whatever happened to the dark foreboding lyrics?

JB

Country for Sale

Living in Denmark is rubbish.
If any of you readers know of a civilised country that will buy Denmark please let me know. We’re cheap, housetrained and come with a good command of the English language (although our grammar really sucks)

JB

Now open for Business

So...I've finally realised that blogging using .Mac and iWeb is not recommendable unless you can live with the many limitations that iWeb has to offer…

This means that my old blog is now officially closed down and that all new and exciting future action will take place right here at Cowvision.

JB

Comming Soon

My new blog. Read all about the things you don't wanna know about...