Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Scientific Breakthrough

They should have a Nobel Prize especially celebrating the hard working scientists working in the interesting and challenging field of amateur anthropology. Because, if they had, I'll surely be the next in line to receive this prestigious award, receive all the nice cash and be an object of eternal admiration and envy from my peers.

See, for years I've had a very interesting theory and just recently I had the opportunity to prove myself right. The theory goes something like this: Take a bathroom with a cabinet that will open and close. Take a house full of guests. The result? Well, my theory is (was) that if you let other people use your bathroom, a large number of these people will be driven by a mysterious force (curiosity) to open up the cabinet and quickly glance inside, or they will take out any shampoo bottle with a label and read while using the toilet. The result is, for whatever reason, that when you let other people use your bathroom these people will go through your stuff...

During the years I've had many heated discussions with some of my mates regarding the validity of the above theory, many of them accusing me (me!) for projecting my own vices onto the rest of the world. So, in the interest of science, last Saturday I decided to put the theory to the test.

I had 15 friends over for a nice BBQ in the garden, but before they arrived (dressed for Tuscany in August - it was a damn hot day!) I made my preparation. Using an old traffic counter with a numbered plastic click wheel, duct tape, parts of a BIC ball-point pen and some Styrofoam to conceal my contraption I cunningly designed a simple counting device that would increment the traffic counter by one every time the cabinet door in my bathroom was being manipulated. To make the experiment more valid I made sure that, soap (both liquid and bar), towels, band aids (you never know...), dental floss, Kleenex, unscented hand crème and a jar of cotton balls were all left in plain sight next to the sink to avoid anyone "having" to open the cabinet looking for the most used items.

And with everything ready, I reset the counter and started preparing for dinner.

The next day, when the hangover was finally on the retreat I removed the contraption from the cabinet, and look...the cabinet had been manipulated no less than 38 times during the past 18 hours, which means that each person on average (assuming all went to the bathroom at least once) had peeked inside my cabinet 2.5 times. To be honest that number exceeds even my wildest expectations.

The evidence is incontrovertible, the data are solid and the conclusion is not to be challenged. People DO in fact snoop around in other people’s cabinets when no one is watching.

No one can dispute the greatness of my discovery, and I pledge not to rest on my laurels and relentlessly keep improving my instruments and data capture methods. I'm already scavenging the Internet for concealable electronic data capture devices that will help me better understand this behavior.

Until I do come up with more hard evidence, please take my advice and don't leave anything you'd rather not want anyone to see (sex toys, naughty magazines etc.) unattended in your bathroom cabinet.



Peach said...

but if as you say you've had heated discussions with mates previously, some or any of whom were at the bbq this time, of course their minds were already tainted wondering what it was you were hiding in your cabinet to get you to mention publicly that they would all look in it. You experiment is more a self-fulfilling prophesy !

"Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you"

Hello, by the way...

Peach X

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